To the woman on the phone in barnes and noble... the person on the other end may believe that you're mad, but, we don't. That is because approximately 64% of the customers in the store can hear you telling him all the reasons the decisions he is making are wrong. If you have to talk that loud, you're probably more upset than you're letting on.
To the biker boy from eharmony.... I'm bored already. And I haven't even met you yet. You don't need to consult me on how much facial hair you have "just in case we get into a relationship". I know that my last relationship was a hot mess and full of issues, but, talking to you is starting to feel like 3pm at the nursing home. zzzzzzzz.
To mr. sisters from eharmony.... your questions and answers are intriguing. I will continue to talk to you because I feel like you will help me on my journey of finding myself. I apologize in advance if you end up feeling used in this process. Unfortunately for you, the journey your questions are leading me on may result in taking a path that doesn't lead to you. But, thank you.
Another thought I had this evening: "Thank God they sell wine at Target." The sad, sad plans I have for my evening I'm sure were nothing but obvious to the cashier, however, if I had bought my $5 bottle of Chardonnay at a grocery store, with no other sustenance, I would be looked at as an alcoholic. Because I purchased my $5 bottle of wine with a sappy book about getting over a lost love at Target, I'm just a woman.
Now, onto my pathetic plans for the evening... Right after one more bowl of that delicious tortellini soup...